When the emptiness is unbearable and the feelings went chaotic haywire, this is what I do. I fly.
Say hi to Thai land.
This is my very first getaway for year 2011 – Phuket. It was happened exactly at the right time for the right cause. So many things bothered me few weeks before this flight – got insulted for no reason, being judged by the person you least expected, realized I made a wrong decision in my career, had to let go something which I thought it was mine. Still, I’m not regret for being me, this is the life that’s written for me, no point of U-turn that I can make. Only, sometimes, I hate it because I unable to find something, or someone else to blame.
Some people came to me and said my life is so colorful. It took every rainbow that appeared every day in a year to describe it. I know, they made such blunt conclusion through pictures displayed in here or anywhere else. Yea, pictures do tell stories, so they read and captured the stories in an auspicious note. They don’t know that someone like me who knows the best what good life should be, because she did not have it, so she arrange it in such way that it is believable, livable.
Ah, it’s good to be somewhere quite far from the familiar – work, people, road and Facebook. Ha! All the memories and sights planted through my eyes & big boi’s gonna soothe the wry in me back home until the next destination. Damn, I was going to write something entertaining and funny in here until Im listening to Boyce Avenue. Suddenly emo pulak. Sigh. Let me, for once! (really? once?)
I taste the life like the food that I ate, and try to figure it out what makes it taste so good from the one I had before. It maybe appears just the same, but believe me, it is not. And I learn that what’s the best now doesn’t mean it stays as it is in the next round. I always swear that “this is the best”, but then, well, you know. I don’t know how to call it as A bless, when human are bestowed with unlimited expectation and needs, when good is never enough. You need to constantly upgrade yourself in order to stand as average as the others. (Oh, I can’t imagine how do people manage to do above the average, it’s too complicated for my brain). Um, I think life as a cow is a bless. They only got to eat green grass for their whole life and never complained. I think they are happy inside out with that green grass although they don’t get to fly to Phuket!
..and sometimes, the sights from the getaway really awaken my taste bud. You don’t see this in your workplace or shopping mall, or among your friends. But no, this is just an experiment for my aperture. You don’t know what actually awaken me after 7 month of my singleton lane. On that same day. after I had my tour around Pha-Nga Bay, my girlfriend and I went back to Karon beach (the place we stayed during the trip). We were looking for something extremely delicious…
I thought this will be the most extremely sweet stuff that I got to experience that evening. Until I was looking for a seat to sit down to enjoy this, mango pancake, crepe, whatever! I was drawn to a park bench behind this crepe, pancake, whatever!’s stall. Usually I won’t simply sit and talk with some strangers especially in a foreign land, but then, there was a strong magnetic field pulled me to it. Gosh, he looks exactly like NBA player – Tony Parker, with his tanned dark skin, lean muscular arms and Tony Parker’s smile. Wait a minute, was it his eyes? I can’t quite figure it out what was smiling at me. Yea, he got that smiling eyes. He’s a Swedish (mixed, cross breed, I guess) and very decent. He knew Malaysia, and keep on saying Pulau Perhentian, Malaysia is the best for scuba. Ah, anyway, my girlfriend’s effort to open up the pathway between us went to the drain because I was too smitten by his looks. I didn’t get his name what so ever, it was the most 20 smitten shy minutes for the 1st time in my 7 months singleton life. Thank to him for awaken me from the blank. I think I want a man in my life, again.
…and I won’t stop looking and creating my own happiness. Until I believe that I am one.
**will post up the gorgeous pictures and story of Phuket soon 😛 ~Please let me bring you to a breakaway, my way.