What would u do with 1 Million bucks….

No,

It wasnt me undergo the job interview. It was me who did the interview. Errr confused already.

After months of discussion between my 2 bosses, they finally agree it is about time for me to have an assistant. To me, I supposed to have it long time ago, seriously frankly~!

I am a professional juggler since now and then, with my invisible pogo stick, I did it very well juggle from accounting to reservations to general to admin to personal to none of my scope of work everyday 10am – 7pm.. and till 10pm when comes to peak season. Maybe I did it very well until my boss look at me like ” well, I think she still dont have enough work to do lah, if not, how come she able to maintain her work station very tidy and still have time to laugh at other workers’ lame joke?”

Point #1 – Do not clear up your work station / table even you got nothing to do. Just put as much as files and folder on your table, few scratch papers with numbers and calculation. To add more character to your working props, put unfinished food, sandwich, chicken wings or half bone fish on top of it. That can give an authentic picture which you dont even have time to finish your meal. When you co-workers do jokes – ignore them or toss them out from their chair, get the chair up, whack them down and say~ IM BUSY.

Inside the meeting he repetitively tells, every time he assigned job, task(s) and inquiry(ies) to me, no worries in his mind, only safe and relieved. Because he knew I will get back to him with full, satisfying answer and report within 5 – 15 minutes. Not half day, not tomorrow, not until he need to remind me “where is the thing I ask you to get for me last week?”. He does not know how annoying he is and how he interrupt what so ever things Im working on (for his company too, not my personal stuff) and yet he treated me like Im the one who able to understand what he wants. And the rest of other staff is chicken, cow, rat and scarecrow. Is he bullying me or what?

Point #2 – Slow down your productivity lor. Act you now tend to forget many things. And if you dont want this to be appeared so obvious, well, still you can get back to him very fast one with what he inquire, but this time – half, not full complete report ler. He sure wants the other half info, then you say ok, slowly crawl back to your place, take your time and pretend kinda busy and submit to him few hours later. I bet after few weeks your boss fed up with you already and train his chicken, cow, rat and scarecrow to be more productive and effective since you now slowly turned into an old pig.

You know right.. a lot of bosses like to ask your opinion and ideas for new project or just plain suggestion… but BEWARE, that could be additional work load for you ok?

Point # 3 – here

Ok lah, if i wanted to list down all the “Hard worker – to – Cool worker” for dummies in here, I think it will be endless and Im afraid that I will get Domestic Inquiry for this since Im promoting towards low value, ineffective and slow production personnel in here.

Lets get back to the recruiting session. We have 1 resume, 1 application since it’s under my 2nd boss recommendation. The girl is a friend, classmates of his younger sister. Ok lah, I dont bother about that as long as she can pick up the phone and sending and replying emails, prepare monthly report and clear up rubbish routine that kills me.

While preparing few questions, suddenly I remember I havent gone through the girl’s personal details, her photo either. Hurmm wonder how she looks like ey.. I heard she’s pretty. I rushed to my boss room and ask for the girl resume and ~ walla~!! She’s 150% prettier than I expected. Her name already describe everything about her…what a pretty name…She reminds me of NorAzlina Redzuan, former Majalah 3 presenter wey.. but younger. Jealous? Nahh.. but only 1 tough problem lor…

-“Geez, how am I going to scold her if she screw up my work.. she’s so pretty…” – my office mates look at me smiling and said ” I knew it.. you always weak towards pretty girls.. I wonder why are you not lesbians..you weird”

Planned to give her 10 interview question, now I only able to prepare 6 for her. And as far as I remember, out of 6, I drop another 1 because I cant stand to see how struggled she is to express herself with her sweet smile and laugh and her big eyes… to all my simple question as simple as “Tell us about yourself…” and “tell us your biggest weakness and strengths”…

Cant blame her tho, she is 22, fresh graduate and being interviewed by 3 of us at the same time in the same small room. Even my ang moh director pretend looking at his lappy and continue his work but my other director keep staring at her.. maybe he wanted to see what’s behind this pretty face, is she capable and worth to hire for or he just imagine what’s underneath her tight pant and top (1 of her shirt button, unbuttoned right above her belly button :p which I can see clearly her beige bustier.. ouch, kinda tight perhaps).. yea she is sexy blond young gal. She graduated in Mass-Communication but for 1 hour I only heard Mess-Communication ler…She said she loves doing PR and marketing… but Im not sure we still can do that with beautiful smiles and starry eyes nowadays…

After enough struggle with mine and my 2nd boss lame stupid question ” are you drinking?” (I dont know that can be seriously a-must job interview question you can ask? or maybe he finished imagine what’s underneath her cloth and now imagine to drunk her, ppfftttz) now come the tricky but fun question from my ang-moh boss.

“Let say Im in a good mood now and since you such a nice person, I decided to give you 1 million bucks right now. Tell me what are you going to do with it.”

I wish he gave me that question and my mouth so jumpy and itchy want to answer that~!!!! I remember I had to bite my tongue to make sure I wont spill even 1 word out from my itchy mouth. Darn la my boss. Last time interview me never ask me leh.

Haih.. still, she had very difficult time to answer it beside ” wow… wow… 1 mil..what am i going to do with it….” The clock ticking…and im biting my tongue.. after 3 minutes of uuhmmm eerrrr… then finally she came out with : 500k – open petrol station, 100k each to mama & papa 300k savings.

Oh my.

Not enough with that, he went on with, “10k bucks, what are you going to do with it, now

Haih….this time, waiting for her answer makes me wanna walk out to the park nearby and watch birds fly lah. 10k buck lah. Why so hard to answer it. Deposit into something or if you really dumb just buy that bloody LV bag ok? (oh, I notice she carry LV Monogram NeverFull Bag tho, so just use that 10k to buy vernis, epi, multicolor or whatever limited edition small, size one lah)

That was the last question for the day and even before the session done I already knew the result ler. Once she stepped out from the office, both of them look at me and “so what do you think? We want to know your opinion since she’s going to be under your wing”

Tell me guys.. how am I going to answer them since, the ang moh one didnt favor her at all, my 2nd boss says it can be trained and shaped into something….The ang moh says can call for other candidates for interviews and the other one says “no, why must delay things already has been delayed for a long time?” Argghhh.

as for me…hurmm I really wanted to get rid of my invisible pogo stick.. tired already jumping with that leh… but at the same time…she also doesnt even know how to use Excel….

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