Bedtime Story..

Heartbreak is worst than cancer. It took away your happy thoughts, creativity, radiance and hope. At least cancer took your life away & that’s it. You no need to live with it forever – live or die. But you can’t go to any doctor and ask for specific prescription on heartbreaks. No prevention, no cure.. even somesay “only time will heal”.. but tell me how many of us really, definitely healed after sometime or longtime?

Only self denials always emphasized that they finally got over it, moved on, ok, fine after a heartbreak. But the truth – there is hatred, regret, phobia, grew inside them after a heartbreak. Tears still rolling every time they think about it (even after 10 years) and heartbreaks really change a person into another. So, tell healed are we after a heartbreak?

People try to erase the pain with new love, new relationship. Peoples always said “he’s not the best for you.. and that’s why it didn’t work out” well, that’s a total bullshit. Are they trying to tell you that.. for every break up, your exes never good enough for you and that is why you had this failure after another because no one is up to your best, yet? Fuck that.

No matter how better your new love is, don’t deny that you still hope that you see a glimpse of similarity of your badass Ex in your new love. Because IF you are REAL, you fell for someone for who they are, good or bad, thick or or poor..because you are not perfect as you think yourself  and imperfection has its own charms.

I don’t know what is my point in here. But please don’t tell me that I will forget, continue to live on, move on and will find someone better. Because he’s all what Im looking for but we are not meant for each other, for NOW. No, Im not looking to find a new relationship in order to forget this. If this is wrong and lead my life to nothing but pain – so be it. At least Im not lying to any new poor guy of how happy he making me feel.

and Gavin darling ~ thanks for having me understand the feel of true love. I never knew that I finally understand how sweet the love is.. until I met u angel… u made me feel 17 all over again for the past few years.. & now it’s time for me to wake up to the present…where unicorn, santa claus, mermaid, true love…can only be heard in child’s  bedtime story…

You always have my love.

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