Kill Me Please…

11:29 aM…Thursday, I received the most painful msg in my mobile from my Ex. Infact, it was the most painful msg I ever received in my entire life… – my heart ripped into 1 million pieces apart, plunged deep by Wolverine metal claw, tossed with a jug of lemon juice and a bucket of salt, finished with acid citric and some fresh squashed chilli padi…

That is how to describe it…how painful it is..cried like there is no tomorrow and feel like Im a piece of shit… no.. lower…like a germ attached at the bottom of the toilet bowl divided by billion times. He score trillion points and I am like all losers Malaysian Olympians…

The answer to my own question finally become known today…and I still not sure am I strong enough to face “the day”…

“I just wanted to tell you, Im getting marry on 10th May, sorry by telling you through sms, I just couldnt bring myself to tell you through the phone. Anyway, I will always be there for you..forever.”

I guess after 1 year, 7 months and 9 days…I can stop counting the day now.. cuz “the day” is finally here.

Tell me… how am I going to face my birthday this year onwards.. without his roses delivered on my table..anymore…

In the end, I come to know that, no matter how superwoman I am, no matter how cool I am dealing with endless unkind life …BUT still, I am just a woman..I cry when it hurts so bad.

Kill me please… end this pain.




  1. e l d y

    April 10, 2009 at 7:16 am

    find another guys .. if wish find the guys who as the roses supplier ..

  2. Independent Queen

    April 10, 2009 at 7:36 am

    Dear Eldy.. It is not just the “roses” roses Im tryin to say here.. it was just a phrase to explain that we are close buddy even we no longer an item.. he still care and help me here and then…and after this..hard for us to stay buddy since he is someone’s ppl husband already..

Leave a Reply