My Eid / Aidilfitri 1435H monologue.
Dear Aidilfitri 1435H, I know that you bring a lot of reason for celebration and happiness to the rest of Muslims around the globe flaunting you in their own way. But, this year, I don’t feel the same thing as they do. To me, to be able to eat extra ordinary meals like rendang and ketupats cooked by my mom on 1 Syawal is more than enough. Because I know, 2nd, 3rd and so forth I will be like sitting in front of TV, changing channels restlessly and all I can find is stupid old movies and new soap opera with stupid titles like “Kimchi Raya” and “Kampung Girl Raya”. And oh! I hate those kids that talked before and after the commercial break like they are some kind of Nona hostess. (Sorry, you guys who subscribing ASTRO might don’t have a clue what I’m talking about but you’ve got to know that ASTRO is doing THIS while giving you horrible transmission while its drizzle outside)
My friends might think I will be having a blast for Aidilfitri since I have a studio photoshoot with I wearing baju raya and then it beautifully photoshopped by my bff (who is in this kind of thing since forever) and it turned out me having some kind of official greeting cards like I am some kind of celebrity which might lead some people in my Facebook‘s friendlist puking in front of their computer screen. To tell you the truth, this is my very first time saying ‘yes’ to this kind of activity. Before this I never go beyond selfies but since my bff been inviting me to join this ‘activity’ – a month before Ramadhan and he made it sounded like FUN, so, I feel on that trap. Well, at least I have something to put up for fun, to make you believe I am going to have a jovial Aidilfitri.
Well, I really don’t care about dressing up nicely while welcoming you after a month of Ramadhan, But I do care dressing up nicely when attending wedding invitation or formal dinner events. I willing to spend an amount of money for 1 dress which equivalent to 3-4 pieces of normal Raya dresses that other women get out there. But this time, i blame it on you. Because of you, these stupid girls (including me) fell into Instagram‘s marketing done by Jovian Mandagie on JBoxing day before Aidilfitri. They made it like boxing day before Christmas. They made it like, a Vera Wang Bridal trunk show. 1000 numbers was given away per day and it opened until 2am for 3 days in a row. Seriously, Although I wasn’t born and raised in the west, I know what real boxing day & Trunk Show is. And what Jovian Mandagie did was nothing like it but manipulate these girls and me to grab any pieces available with the idea that’s the last piece you have. 1st two days, I can tell you 70% of the floor filled with NEW ARRIVAL. Only 30% filled with 30-70% discount items (which is UGLY design). Well, I’m not really into discount item when it comes to fine things. But when makes me mad, they made the rules of “purchased item is not exchangeable” even for NEW ARRIVAL ITEMS! And what makes me more mad – they told me the sizes is what it is (on the rack). No more in stock. BUT ON LAST DAY THEY RESTOCKED THE SAME DRESS WITH PLENTY OF SIZES WITH 30% DISCOUNT. That’s very much cheating. Because of their ruthless marketing strategy, plenty of stupid girls like me ended up selling back their purchased on Jovian Mandagie’s Instagram/ try to exchange sizes with other girls.
Cut the story short, I need to lose 5kgs in one week before I can wear that fucking dress for some wedding invitation. Like seriously? 5kgs during Raya? I am not just STUPID. I am ridiculously unbelievable too. FML.
This year supposed to be the very 1st year I am celebrating you with my husband. The fact that he is alone and working on 1st day of Aidilfitri without nice Baju Melayu and me somehow upset me. He has the right to experience how beautiful is Aidilfitri after his attempt to fast during Ramadhan with nice food and all. In fact that I unable to kiss his hand and ask for forgiveness like a normal husband and wife do makes Aidilfitri this year meaningless to me. While everybody posting pictures with their spouse and kids, complete with matching color outfit makes me a little bit jealous.
Tomorrow, I had to go back to office with this heavy heart while reading incoming messages about list of work waiting for me day before that – driving me crazy and my mental felt like totally harassed, my day, my time, my thoughts and soul are totally being sold out to work. All my energy and this every heart beat of mine are no longer belong to me. It’s all sold out in the exchange for monthly SALARY. It has been more than once, I lost my weekends to work. For the first time in my entire career life, I had to drive back to the city from Sungkai, Perak just for the sake of 1 document need to be delivered to someone’s door. This is not the kind of life I imagine of.
I no longer living the life that everyone’s envy of. And I realized this by Aidilfitri 1435H.
Anyways, at the end of this post, I hop on my weighing scale again, and the readings still didn’t exceed 50kgs, after 3rd day of Aidilfitri, gives me a little strength to continue my day until the beautiful ones finally appear.
I believe in Karma, I believe in Ying and Yang. I believe in ups and downs in life. And I believe all the downs that I have to face from this day on wards, there will be the ups and beautiful one waiting for me somewhere near future.
Thanks to my husband, although he is million miles away, but he never failed to fill my thought with beautiful pictures of us catching salmon during summer, camping and animal hunting
Well, Selamat Hari Raya anyways.
“Well, maybe you should live in the future then. Just think about where you’re going and the time when you can work for yourself. And making me sandwiches! Hahaha! Really, get excited about the end of the year and don’t let your current job get you down.” – Mike.