Suamiku Mat Salleh
Post ini bukan bertujuan nak show off that I am proud married to a western guy. It’s just a normal ramblings from a Malay girl from Malaysia talking about actual things happen in her life, while being married to someone not from her kind. I don’t have many friends that married to mat salleh, none of my family member and relatives too. Maybe mereka wondering what is it like having mat salleh as a husband besides ‘Mie, mesti barang dia baik kan’ (seriously, 99% of people that I know, male or female, only interested on my husband genital part. How on earth they expecting me to tell / describe to people about my husband private part, like everyday gossip?)
It’s January 2015. This month marks a year of our marriage. Phew. Glad we made it. Forever left to go. Insyaallah. Well, we still have 21 days to go before our 1st year anniversary though.
People in this part of the world (Malaysia) are quite funny, they tend to relate real life experience with movie and Hollywood gimmicks kan. Hei, my husband ain’t no Justin Bieber. He work (and pay taxes), eat, sleep and shit just like the rest of human being in this world.
But, there are lots of things I learn from this marriage. and learning about westerners culture and behavior. It’s crazy I tell you, we got into so many arguments just because I misinterpreted him and he laughed at my seriousness because he thought I was just messing around.
First, he don’t believe in ghost or black magic. Langsung tak takut hantu. And when I talked about bomoh and such, he laughed his ass off and continue being obnoxious. And today, he sprained his waist area while helping me with moving the furniture around the house. It was so bad until he unable to move like he paralysed from waist down. If this happened to most of us, off to the clinic we go. He refused it and he said, there is nothing doctor can do for muscle tear, except giving him pain killers. He refused the pain relieving cream (minyak urut panas) and when I asked him to lay down on bed so that I can massage the pain area, he insist that massaging the muscle tear is the worst idea. Tak nak pegi hospital, tak nak ubat dan tak nak urut.
When it comes to cooking, he never asked or complaint about it. Dia macam pelik bila aku tergopoh gapah memasak for lunch or dinner. Everyday, I can’t help it but asks, are you hungry? You want me to cook now? He looked at me like I am some kind of a joke. “I can prepare my own food if I’m hungry”. Itu jawapnya. So, all the cooking I did, it was merely for experiment. My experiment with food and for fun only. Ataupun, aku terasa nak makan. Do you know how fun it is to cook without expectation from other party or even better – he never ever asked about it. IT IS CRAZY FUN AND I WANT TO COOK MORE. And he finished up anything I put on the table.
He never let me do his laundry. NEVER. He said some of his clothes need special way to wash it and he feels comfortable if he do it himself. Iron baju? Mimpilah. Dia tak pernah gosok baju. Most of his clothes doesn’t require any ironing. Kebetulan aku memang benci iron baju. I wear crumpled baju kurung to work. Seriously.
He gets paranoid when it comes to flying bugs and spiders! Aku gelak macam nak mati tengok dia melompat nampak benda alah tu. I told him that I am still alive until now, living around them. But with his serious face, he told me we never knew about poisonous bugs and spider, especially in Asia which is famously known with its deadly insects. Lepas tu tak habis habis bagi contoh dengue fever.
Dia tak lah romantik macam mat salleh dalam movie yang korang tengok or novel yang korang baca. But he speak what’s on his mind and how he feels about certain things (berterus terang / jujur) makes it sounds nice and sweet. But to him, it’s the fact that I must know and understand. I think Malay and Chinese guys are more romantic. They bought teddy bear, chocolate and flowers for the girls, right? Aku ni, bunga plastik pun belum tentu dapat. Tengok la Hanis Zalikha and Scha Yahya tu, siap kena proposed secara live on cable TV you olls.
Selebihnya, he just like the rest of the guys in Malaysia – kentut busuk, tidur berdengkur (sangat kuat dan aku memang tak tahan), hormat orang tua, tak mencarut suka suka hati and makan banyak.
And oh, he don’t mind making me a cup of coffee when I woke up from sleep. Tapi sebenarnya bukan romantik. Kebetulan dia tengah bancuh air kopi dia. To him, it is just making a 2nd cup of coffee, so no big deal. Instant coffee je kut.. 3 in 1. Cuma ada sekali tu, kopi tu terlalu manis aku rasa. Aku tanya dia kenapa boleh manis sebegitu rupa?
“I made it with all my heart and love. That’s why it is so sweet”
Aku mencebik dengan muka menyampah and he laughed it off because he knew he’s not that kind of guy. Tahu pun.
to be continued…