When Malaysian Ladies Prefer or are Married to Foreign Guys


 All this time I am all immune with all the nasty thoughts and view from the public regarding Malay ladies prefers foreigner. Because I know this issue won’t have a nice end even this world has come to end. This issue is rather sensitive because it involves races, principle and dignity. And it became far worst when someone try to ignite the issue by putting in religion matters. Even God can’t help when races and religion issue mistakenly mixed in ugly intentions.

But then, it’s kind of compelling for me to drop my standpoint. I feel like I’ve been dragged into it. I mean, I have the right to voice out my opinion, in MY BLOG, because I think I need to reveal my own life experience, at least. This is not a fictional writes up based on movie, drama on TV or romance novels.

This is video uploaded by infamous Facebook page in Malaysia. I feel upset a little when I came across nasty comments directed to the girls in that video. Those girls have quite decent appearance and look but being bombarded by the netizen for being sincere. Well, people asked, you must need to come up with some answers right? It just some opinion, NOT DECISION.

What upset me the most is – most of the nasty comments came from females.
I did leave a comment for that video. But my comment is more to NEUTRAL. Because to me, that’s the best thing to do rather acting that I know everything and judging people is not an easy thing to do even for the one in High Courts in Malaysia failed to satisfy the whole Malaysian when it comes to final verdict. But some people so quick to judge until they sometimes appear bigger than God Himself.

But, as usual, no matter how I keep it neutral, I still got some nasty replies. Well, I expected that because that neutral comments came from someone who is married to foreigner herself.
First, I was appalled with the equation made by Malaysian that, when a Malay girl married to a foreigner, it must be something to do with the size of penis. Do Malays’ penis really tiny? And the size of penis comments always came from MALAY MALE. It makes me think that, does he validating his tiny size up to the public and that’s the only reason why Malay girls refused to marry him?


Secondly, THOUSANDS of comments revolving around how bad foreigner treating Malay girls wrong. Foreign guy sell his Malay wife for money, foreign guy beat his Malay wife and so on. But as far as I know, issues of MALE mistreating FEMALE, Husband mistreating Wife is quite common ever where, regardless race and religion. I bet you knew about this and maybe, some of this mistreatment happens among someone you know, or even in your family.

Isteri dipukul sampai matiisteri dipijak suamipukul isteri dalam pantangalong


















Thirdly, people like to compare everyday issues among common people like us with celebrities. Oh, that celebrity married to foreigner but it didn’t last long. Er, so are you telling me same race marriages (by celebrities or common people like us) are guaranteed lasts forever and divorce, separation is no where to be found in Malay’s vocabulary? I can’t digest this kind of thoughts really. So, that is why some couple willing to commit a huge bank loans just to have wedding reception as grand as Rozita Che Wan, Shazy Sam and SM Nasimuddin clan? I won’t you take a realistic approach by knowing reality from commoner like you?


I tried my best here to write as neutral as I can. I do not want to be seen as protecting foreigner’s interest just because I am married to one. My intention here is only to remind you again that, good and bad people are not based on skin color or religion. Is it ironic that you keep trying to prove to the world that MUSLIMS ARE NOT TERRORISTS. But at the same time you try to prove that, someone different color than you are the bad people in the entire universe. And when someone with different skin color and believe do good thing, you quickly came up with this –

“all these non muslims, no matter how goodhearted they are, they has no place near God and still going to hell. While us, the Muslims, no matter how bad we are, we still ended in Heaven”


How f***ing insane is that??!!!


It nauseates me every time I came across that statement. FYI, even you live your entire life as a muslim, it is still not a guarantee that you die as a muslim. No one can predict that. Only God can decide. So for that, why are not we simply be happy and inspired by the good acts without questioning who is the person just performed good deeds. Why must you came with the verdict of how that person ended up to be in heaven or hell? So, when you are in trouble, and there is someone who is totally different than you and your belief giving a helping hand, would you refused it since that person is not Malay and non Muslim? Would you say something like

“nononono. I am waiting for Malay Muslim to help me. Because all the good deeds performed by us will be counted by God. It’s ok. I can stand this wound chopped leg. Please go away”.

Can you?
I knew few good, decent Malay guys before. But were not destiny for each other. You think that Malay girl who marrying foreigner hates Malay guys? And you think those who marrying to Malay guys, never think even for one second, how it feels like having foreigner husband? But, out of all probability and possibilities, in the end, you still came out with the size of penis, matters.
Okay, those Malay girls claimed that foreigner guys are more romantic and caring compared to Malay guys bla bla bla… just ignore them and forgive them if it is not even related to the quality in you. Maybe they were influenced by the foreign movies and foreign romance novel (yeah yeah, like Malay movies, drama and novel are all about FACTS and REALITY Rindu Awak 200%). But there is no need to jeer when you know those girls’ opinion is not realistic enough to your judgment. Why not try to prove they are wrong and you can be romantic and caring far better than foreign guys?


I must tell you that my foreign husband is not a romantic type. That’s not the reason I married to him. I didn’t married to him because he is rich. In term of assets and material possessions, I think I have more than him. He don’t own a house when I knew him and yet, I own an apartment in Shah Alam. He drove old car, given by his grandpa, and I purchased mine. There is no need for me to list down my achievements and possessions. I am not that kind of person and I don’t ever look down on my husband because of that. Well, at least he don’t have 35 years old bank loan! I marry him because we have similar hobby. We also have similarity in life perspective and opinion too. To put it simple – we have that compatibility. The rest was undivided family blessings towards our union. And the MOST IMPORTANT thing is FATE, arranged and determined by Almighty God. You think all this thing happens if He did not allow it to happen?

Haha. I know that Malaysian now are mad about our beloved Prime Minister and Deputy Minister – Najib and Zahid Hamidi (Plus their kids trying to meddle into their dad’s administration) especially on the issue of 1.5 million Bangladesh worker into Malaysia. But it is awfully insane to relate political issues with someone’s fate and dignity in above mentioned video.
And then I saw a narrow minded comments about foreigners won’t pay attention to girls with hijab since they only prefers free hair and sexy Malay girls. God gracious..that’s is one nasty negative comment. What if one of those girls seriously wanted to find foreigner as a husband and believed what you have said and decided to take off her hijab? I have known few decent educated Malay girls with hijab married to westerners (Americans, Europeans) and live a happy life. And they went through the wedding customary just like normal people. Not just pack and go just because she loves westerners.
I can’t guarantee that my marriage is trouble free and we live happily ever after like Bawang Merah marrying a prince. But if you pray hard enough, have a strong will and work for it, Insyaallah.
To me, no matter who you choose to marry – foreigner, your own people, your neighbor or even your distant cousin, you have to go through a standard check list. Just like when you are planning to buy a smart phone, you will study about the brand, performance and price. And in Islam, we also have guidelines written in the book of Quran and sunnahs which makes it easier for us since the guidelines are there. Get the check list, or requirements at least 80% ticked if you unable to get 100%
No matter how big is the size of a penis, how rich is the guy, romantic, caring and all, it became useless you don’t get family blessings from both side – especially mom and dad. I can count and name elope marriage very hard to lasts, I speak based on what happen in my family. My cousin and my aunt did that. They lived miserably even though they tried to cover it up by wearing gold and diamonds all over their body. Blessings here is not just on the surface. It must be skin deep. Make sure they accept you for who you are. They don’t care about how big is the wedding reception, or the hantaran (dowry). They accept you even you wake up late and decided not to cook at all. All they wanted is for both of you to be happy.
After the blessings, you must have that compatibility. If you don’t have slight similarity in hobby and interest as well as perspective, it will be a little hard, but still doable. One more thing, you have to be ready and accept with open mind about your partner’s secrets youmay discover throughout marriage. It is a matter of learning about each other and this process has NO END.
Out of curiosity, how many of you being open about how much you earn and commitment (bills and bank loan) to your partner BEFORE you tied a knot?


I guess it is time to stop with the size of penis when it comes to Malay girls’ preferences towards foreign guy because I think, when you use that in your accusations, you are telling the world your penis size.

And for you, who replied me this;

komen lahanat dari perempuan melayu lahanat


Let me knock your head back to senses, that is not foreign guy’s fault. The girl did it to herself because she left out her family and friends to brought her sorry ass following that foreign guy. Do you think smart, educated girl full with decent life ethics have to go viral for help in order for her to come home? If this happen to me, I can tell you that my family or my Malaysian’s contact end will get me plane ticket back to Malaysia in just 5 minutes time. I don’t need to make my personal life and personal choice gone bad, viral, airing my dirty laundry to get help via petty sympathetic method. How smart and stupid oneself is depending on her/himself. Not other people. Not foreign guys, not Najib, Anwar Ibrahim or Tun Hussien Onn. Before you decided to comment something sans intelligent, please take off Malaysian Flag out first, because you such a disgrace for us who try to make a good impression about Malaysia and Malaysian, abroad.

The understand life and knowledge just like a Google Search. Type in word ‘Nude Malays’ – you will get stories and images on Nude Malays. You will get same result if you type in ‘Nude western girls or Thai or Arab’. One thing I know, you Malay guys really enjoying seeing pink nipples on the internet and sometimes you wish to fondle it. What I am trying to say here is – you choose what you want to see and hear ONLY. And it is unfair for you to throw accusations and conclusions based on that. That’s not right at all.


Try to get to know someone, a real person who married to a foreigner. Don’t just pay attention to Lana Nodin and Serina Ridzuan Instagram’s life. If you really wanted to know, ask that person nicely. Maybe for future reference in case your family member plan to marry foreign guy. If that person experience is bad, take it as a precaution, and if it’s good, just be happy for them. I have few people inboxed me on Facebook asking about Mike and I. Not Mike’s penis size. But they asked me how is life in foreign land, how is my parent in law treating me, how is foreign cultures..is it bearable for me to adapt and such. And for me to share my experience about my reality, is somehow nice.

Ah, I never wrote a long ass post like this for quite a while. I won’t be posting stuff like this anywhere soon. It’s tiring!






  1. Me

    November 18, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    You have a great topic written here and the way you thinking are same as mine too. There’s only one question from me. How’s your life a few months or year after marriage. I understand that a foreigner have a difficulty to working in malaysia.. Tell me how you manage it at the early stage of your marriage.

    1. heartboxx

      November 20, 2017 at 6:59 am

      Hi Sharkilla,
      we were in a long distance for the 1st year since I have to arrange everything before I resign. 2nd year, I followed my husband back to Alaska and we were like going back and forth, Alaska – Malaysia. Yes. American have difficulty to work in Malaysia. Low salary, working permit etc etc. Right now, we have 1 kid and trying to figure out how to stay together throughout the year. Hope our online business will help.

  2. Mr. Nice Guy

    December 20, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    Hello dear Sister Normi,
    How are you doing? Thank you for your great content.
    1) What would be your advise/check-list for a Muslim from Europe in general?
    2) How to find out if I am compatible with a Malaysian woman or she is compatible with me: any tactics?
    3) What are the “red flags” and “green flags”.
    Thank you!
    Mr. Nice Guy

    1. heartboxx

      January 30, 2018 at 4:07 pm

      Oh wow! I had to email you about this personally. Hahaha. Thank you for reading my blog!


    October 31, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Salam and Hi.
    I just came across your blog because I’m looking for some answer or clues to convince a European man to convert. May I know how did u convince your husband to convert? because it is a huge deal for us, Muslim, to get married to Muslim man. as for now, he said he won’t convert. i am thinking that maybe his heart still couldn’t accept Islam. He is just fine for me being a Muslim. We like each other so much and yeah.. religion become our concern and we are looking for ways to be together is the right way.
    hope you will reply me or email me regarding my question/curiosity.
    p/s: in love with him definitely not because of the penis size. lol. just because we both can talk and fight so well with each other. *wink*

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