Lately, I discovered that I do have a dream guy. Real one, not the typical tall-dark-handsome with bank full of money. I have been writing to him back and forth for almost a year and slowly I came to realize he’s the one I’ve been dreaming of.
Last night I had an emotional confession to a young man about a girl like me in the hope that he will be the first one who open up into a different way of thinking and perception. I told him the secret of a women’s heart and now it has no longer stay a secret for him anymore. So that he will do his thing right by making one less lonely girl in this planet when his time finally come. I think I did it fine because I can see in his eyes the way he looked at me in a different way before he left. I feel respected.
Today, I came to know today that my dream guy slept with his best friend of 15 years after a birthday party, few weeks ago. I appreciate the honesty but I guess he’s no longer in my dream. This is not my first time though, and I didn’t blame him for what has happened. I was being mistaken as a good friend (most of the time), because I am so good creating a comfortable, safe and clean zone of platonic friendship. So, I should feel proud of myself, here. Because it really saved me from a heartbroken for falling into a wrong guy.
Few hours ago I was told by a guy that, I look like a girl with high maintenance plus a girl that wouldn’t fit for a wife. He got that conclusion just by flipping through my photos just in 1 day and I believed it goes the same with other guys too. Yes, pictures do tell stories and I wasn’t lucky enough to get my portrait right to every people’s minds. I am so tired with the assumptions, so I think I want to quit explaining.
Im blessed with few things that other girls or men could ever wished for. But I would like to remind you that.. be careful with what you wished for.. because you might just get it and stuck with it. Still, it is my fault in getting things wrongly interpreted. I made hard things seems so easy, ugly sight became so pretty and normal geeky girl didn’t fit for a wife material. I really have no clue that I have the ability to magnify unnecessary things and its killing me. All I wanted to be is to be an inspiration and inspire people who has inspired me.
…and still, people came to me and said “be yourself, be genuine and keep it real” ah..
Despite of all, I will still keep on dreaming, even with my eyes open.
If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. ~David Carradine